This week’s question is related to, but different than my last one (What is Enough?).
Today’s question is “What is Success for You?” Or “How Would You Define Success?” What does that mean for you and your life? What comes to mind?
If you say someone is a “success”, what does that usually mean?
When I look up “success”, three definitions come up:
- the accomplishment of an aim or purpose
- the attainment of popularity or profit.
- a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity.
People traditionally think of the 2nd definition when describing someone who is a success. Many may want that but my definition is deeper than that.
I believe that each of our definitions of success is different and very personal.
For me, this initially sounded like an easy question but then once I started really thinking about it, it was much more challenging than I expected. I think people start off thinking success is achieving a certain income level or reaching a level or designation at work, or having a happy home life.
My current definition of Success is that:
- I get to enjoy my family and friends and my time.
- That I raise two happy, healthy, independent, kind and generous/helpful human beings.
- That I know I have helped people make meaningful and positive changes in their lives. I want to make a difference.
- I make enough money to support myself and my family.
- I want to feel appreciated and valued by others.
- Success means working with people and clients that I love. People who support me and help me grow and learn. I want to be with good-hearted, ethical people.
- I continue to learn and grow and help others learn and grow too.
- I am having fun.
- I am feeling loved and help others feel loved and special.
All of these are AND statements. I want all of this and therefore it is a balancing act. My definition of success may change and develop. It may change with age and phases of life. For me, I want my family to come first but I still want to make a contribution outside my home life too. I am giving myself permission to continue adjusting what I am aiming for in my life.
Just now, I thought about my health which doesn’t show up on that list. I all too often take my health and mobility for granted. When that changes, it can change everything. So being healthy and taking care of myself should be on this list too.
The over clichéd, “Making a difference” can be easily accomplished in various ways – both big and small. I don’t have to end world hunger to be making a difference in the world. I hope I can make a difference with my family and friends and those I love – one person and one moment at a time. I hope I am making a difference in my children and husband’s lives. I want them to know that they are loved and important to me, that they are enough, that they are special and I will always love them.
Yes, I want to make a difference in my clients’ lives. Even making an impact with one person can have the ripple effect to make a difference in many, many more lives. I love this idea of the ripple effect and want others to recognize and appreciate how small things CAN make a big difference far in the future in unknown ways.
Success is much more vague or gray for me than making X number of dollars per year which makes it harder to define. So how will I know if I have achieved success? I’m not exactly sure (!?!) but I think it will be a feeling of a certain level of contentment, meaning, and happiness while still striving to better myself and the world around me.
The takeaway for me is the benefit from trying to define success in a way so that I know what is most important. What am I aiming for, even if it is not easily defined? Am I living my life aligned with these things?
Think about how you would define success for yourself. How would you define success in each area of your life – work, play, love and health? What are some steps you can take to get you closer to achieving “success” in each of those areas? How can you prioritize what you want? What is getting in the way?
I would love to hear your answers to these questions. Please share so we all can get new ideas and perspectives.
If you would like to dive deeper into these questions or are feeling a lack of satisfaction in your life and want to make some changes, please give me a call. I would love to help.
P.S. In my opinion, earning or saving $________ should never be a definition of success. If that is your initial thought of success for you, I want to know:
- What would you want to do with the money?
- What would that money signify for you?
- Are there other ways of achieving those things besides through money?
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