How would you describe your relationship with money? Stop and really think about how you would answer that question. How do you view money? What are your feelings about it? You get bonus points if you put pen to paper and write down your answers.
Every aspect of our life is influenced by money –
where we live, the food we eat, our job, our house, the clothes we wear, the work we do, the gifts we give, our friends, even our spouse and the number of children we have, are all affected by money and how we view it.
So, do you have a healthy, happy relationship with money?
Try thinking of your relationship with money like a personal relationship.
What are the keys to success in your happy and healthy personal relationships? Now apply these same concepts to your relationship with money. Some of the keys to success that I apply to both my personal and financial relationships are:
Respect
Treat money with respect. Just like any person, it wants to and needs to be treated with respect. Yes, money is important and necessary. Recognize that. Now balance that with the fact that it does NOT define who you are. Money cannot change who you truly are – what your values are, your talents, and what you care about.
A good relationship enhances who you are and brings out the best in you.
Money is similar, it is a tool that allows you to be, do and have MORE of what you want. It should also enhance your life and highlight your passions, talents and values.
Understanding
It is always helpful in a relationship to understand where the other person is coming from and what they are thinking. You need to communicate with the other person. The more you understand about money and are honest about your money situation, the more power you have to make wise, respectful and sympathetic decisions.
If you come from a place of knowledge and confidence instead of a place of unknowing and fear, you are empowering yourself. This communication and connection will enhance your relationship.
I want to stress that you do not need to know everything. I recommend that you surround yourself with people and financial advisors you trust and who can help provide the expertise that you need.
Educating yourself also contributes to your understanding. Learning and asking questions about your finances helps improve your relationship with money and provides assurance.
Attention
Money (like people) LOVES and demands a level of attention. Money will get your attention one way or another. It can be positive or negative attention. You get to choose.
I like to think of this aspect as similar to a parent-child relationship. Your child will do things to get your attention, even if it is negative attention. Money is the same way. If you ignore your money (relationship) and avoid dealing with it, it will eventually require your attention.
Just like scheduled date nights with your spouse, I recommend that you schedule time to regularly check in with your finances so you know where you stand moneywise.
Respect, understanding and attention are all concepts that are important in dealing with people. They provide an initial guideline to assist you in improving your relationship with money. Think of your personal relationships and how YOU want to be treated as an analogy and powerful example to apply to your own relationship with money.
Many people are uncomfortable in their relationship with money.
Their best selves are not showing through in their dealing with finances. If this is you, think about how you can change your view of money and your relationship with it.
What actions can you take to change this?
Having a healthy relationship with money has the power to change and affect EVERY aspect of your life.
Wishing only the best for you.
Sincerely,
Tara
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