My 5 year old asked me this question a few nights ago and it has haunted me since…
Why IS everyone always in such a rush?
I think my answer to him was that most people have many things they are trying to do and fit in every day. People have meetings and deadlines and schedules. I gave him an answer but I don’t think it was a very good one. Or at least it did not seem to satisfy him, or me, so much.
I then asked him, “Do you know anyone who is NOT always in a rush.” I was hoping to come up with an example for me to use with him and also for myself. But he said no, he could not think of one person. I offered the name of his teacher who I think is one of the most patient and un-rushed people I know. But he said no. During snack time everyone is rushed along to move on to the next thing. Hmmm.
I know for me, this is an area I want to work on. I am an Achiever and a Maximizer according to StrengthFinder. I try to efficiently use every second of every day and try to fit in way too much.
One of the biggest changes for me was when I stopped working part time at my last financial planning firm. I was SO stressed and felt like I was always late and always rushing from one thing to the next. I was unsuccessfully trying to balance a full work schedule and taking care of my 2 and 4 year old boys. I was not enjoying my life at all.
One day when my older son asked me, “Whose fault is it that we are late today?” I knew something had to change. I decided to quit working for the firm and go on my own so I could put my family first and be able to be in charge of my own schedule. I vividly remember one of the first days after quitting and walking my new Kindergartner to school with my 3 year old and being able to take as long as we wanted to walk home from school. We didn’t have anything we had to do or anywhere we needed to be! We could stop and look at things, wander, and for what felt like the first time in my life, I was NOT in a rush. It felt luxurious. That was a bright spot for me.
Yet, here I am still in a rush. Trying to write this article, work on a few financial plans, taking a class, teaching a class, etc. Trying to fit too much into every day, especially when my boys are in school. My husband always says, “Why don’t you go back to sleep?” I always reply, “I have too much to do!”
This article is more of my own self-reflection but I think it is a very common issue in our society that my son so wisely noticed and would like to change.
I love questions. Here are more questions that come up for me:
- Why are we in such a rush?
- What will it take for us to slow down?
- How can we relax more and enjoy just being and connecting with the ones we love?
- How can we not take so much on? Or feel the obligation (real and made up) for so many SHOULDs???
- What is really necessary?
- Why am I doing all of these things?
- What do I care most about?
- How can I carve out wide open free play time for myself and my family?
- What can I control?
- How can I make this different?
I want to show my son that I am not ALWAYS in a rush and slow down and enjoy just being with him.
I have decided that rushing is getting in the way of my theme of “choose JOY” for the year so it is something I am going to work on. I challenge you to slow down and enjoy more too.
I am open to recommendations and will present some of my own learnings on this topic in next week’s article.
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