My theme for 2022 is: “Notice and Create Joy (when(ever) possible)”.
Two of Laura Vanderkam’s rules from Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters relate to my theme for 2022:
6. One big adventure, one little adventure. Each week, do at least two things that will be worth remembering.
7. Take one night for you. Commit to an activity you love that is separate from work and household responsibilities.
Doing memorable things helps expand our perception of time.
These two rules tell us to focus on, highlight and prioritize or schedule time for more FUN or things that YOU want to do in your life. Prioritizing ourselves, our own dreams and our own joy. We all are busy. Most of us feel like we have so much to do that we don’t have time for play or fun. I know for me it often feels like too much additional work or effort to even try to do something fun. (Sigh. I am such a homebody. I would much rather just relax, curl up and get cozy and read my book.)
Why are we doing all the things that we are doing if we don’t have time for what we truly enjoy??
I have to admit both of these rules feel like too much of an undertaking for me even though I WANT to create more joy and do more things worth remembering. It sounds like adding more planning, decisions, and complexity to my life when I am trying to do less and go more slowly.
Most parents prioritize their children’s activities and Tranquility By Tuesday recommends that we each choose one night, or one time a week, for an activity that WE want. This sets a good example for our children and hopefully adds a break and more enjoyment to our own life.
I have been thinking about, but struggling to come up with an activity that I love that is separate from work and household activities. I love to read, but I do this. Vanderkam is generally talking about an activity outside our homes – a tennis lesson, art class, yoga, singing in a choir… I am going to have to keep thinking about this and maybe try some new or different things to find an activity I love enough to carve out the time and do it consistently.
(I have to admit I question if this exists for me and if it could be worth the time and sacrifice. A date night is what comes first to mind but I know that is not exactly what she is talking about. Could date night fall under the other rule “One big adventure, One Little Adventure each week”?)
The “One big adventure, One Little Adventure each week” also sounds like a lot to take on and is outside my comfort zone. Vanderkam recommends that the little adventures be approximately an hour while a big adventure is 3-4 hours but you get to decide what constitutes a big or little adventure. I think the key is to do something special and hopefully memorable. I know in an ideal world I would like to have more fun and playful adventures in my own and my family’s life.
I am considering for my little adventures to set up a time where I call or be with someone I want to talk to but don’t regularly. I want to consistently carve out and schedule the quality time (my love language) to connect with friends and loved ones that I think about and miss. I guess what I am trying to do is shrink down the overwhelming feeling of this rule and make it something that I want to do AND feels doable.
For the big adventures, I will have to think more about this. I need to remember it can take many shapes and forms – cooking or baking with my boys, going to a sporting event. I get to design this concept in ways that work for me. I probably do a lot of these adventures already. It is making it more intentional and consistent. As I am writing this, I think our Family Nights where one of us chooses an activity would even count as our big adventure. We don’t do our Family Night weekly but it is happening occasionally. I think we all would like for it to be more consistent.
Vanderkam always does a list of things she wants to do each season. Some things are traditions that she does each year (i.e. apple picking) and some are new. She then looks at her list for ideas and plans them out over the season. I love this idea. We usually do this for the summer but have never done it for the other seasons. I may give it a try.
Tranquility By Tuesday was a worthwhile read and gave me things I want to try and lots to think about. I am clear about my values and what I care about. This book encourages and give strategies to help align your time with these values and what matters to you and prioritizing yourself and the time for more valuable connections and memories in your life.
All of the “rules” of this book are to increase your joy and peace of mind and do not just focus on your productivity like so many other time management books. Our perceptions of time are malleable and this book does a good job of asking some deeper questions and presenting strategies to help you prioritize what is important to you. Our time should be prioritized for enjoying our life more. What does that mean for you?
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