I spend a lot of time thinking. I am definitely an over-thinker and over-analyzer, just ask my husband. 🙂
I have been thinking about 2020 and what my “wins” were for the year.
I was lucky enough to have a few, but my biggest win and the thing I am most proud of is the shift so that I am not always feeling overwhelmed.
My story for this win began in my “pod” group. I meet and talk with a group of financial advisors every week. A common check-in question, especially during the beginning of the COVID shutdown was how everyone was doing or feeling. I noticed that I was feeling overwhelmed even though not much was happening or expected of me (besides the constant fear of COVID, the cooking, cleaning and homeschooling of my boys, Ha!).
The bigger thing was the realization that I usually felt that way (even before COVID) AND that I felt that way MUCH more than I want. I decided then and there that this was something I wanted to change. I did not want to constantly feel like I had too much to do. How could I change that?
I am a worrier and over-analyzer. As my husband says, I look for things to worry about. He is correct. My brain is programed to do this and is constantly looking for things to help support and create this feeling of overwhelm. I decided I wanted to stop this. It was a conscious decision. I started saying “No” to those things that I truly did not want to or need to do.
I thought about how I wanted to feel and started working towards that. I decided to stop working with all of my individual clients. It felt like too much with homeschooling and everything else. I have intentionally tried to take on less and slow down. I keep telling myself that I am not in a rush. Life is not a race. I want to enjoy each day. I am making an effort to finish up certain things before taking on more.
This was tested at the end of the year. I wanted to sign up for a development program that I thought would help my business grow. I really wanted to do it. It sounded exciting to me and I could not stop thinking about it. I talked to a few people about it and finally, a good friend said to me, if I wanted to do it, then WHEN would I do it? It sounded like such a simple no-brainer question but this question made it very clear to me that I did not have the time to do this program now. Could I if I HAD to? Yes, BUT why choose to take on more?
The old me may have signed up for this program and I would have fit it in and done it at night. I am so grateful I was able to let it go confidently and peacefully, knowing that this is not the right time for me to do it. I have not thought about it since. (That is HUGE for me.) I have PLENTY of things to do. PLENTY of things I want to do and still don’t even get to, yet I am feeling less overwhelmed.
For another example, I was lucky enough that both my husband and I were off the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I purposely did not have any meetings. I wanted the week to be open. It was open and we didn’t do too much but it felt relaxing and oh so nice. Usually we travel or host to see family. I greatly enjoyed this week without any real commitments and not having to go anywhere. I read emails but made a conscious effort not to reply to any until Monday, Jan. 4th. This felt like an accomplishment and change for me. I want to have an open week again although I know it may be more challenging post-COVID to make this to happen.
I was proud of myself and feel like these tests helped anchor for me that I am saying “no” to more. I am trying to be careful about what I am taking on and saying yes to. I still have a ways to go but this is what I am most proud of this past year – my progress in moving out of constant overwhelm and trying to always fit in too much. I sincerely feel like I have made progress and have shifted how I feel. Stressing about all I felt I had to do was a negative aspect of my life and was affecting my happiness.
I have shifted this and feel a little different. I pride myself on my efficiency yet, I have come to realize that just because it CAN be done, does not mean I HAVE to do it. I am carefully choosing what I want to say “yes” to and working hard to stay away from that feeling of not having enough time for everything I need to do. It is a process but I know I want more downtime, more of doing what I love and having the space and time for it – reading, walking, and spending quality time with those who mean the most to me.
What are you most proud of this past year?
Please take a few minutes to think about and write down as many as you can think of. Recognize your accomplishments no matter how small and be proud of yourself.
Just making it through 2020 was a huge accomplishment.
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