My Dear Reader,
First, thank you for taking some of your precious time to read this. I want it to be worth your while.
I want to share with you some words of advice. Yes, I know talk is cheap (and easy) but this advice did not come easily. This advice came from real life suffering and struggle. Not imaginary, not pretend, but true life struggle, to get to the lessons and perspective.
Have you ever been in such a bad place that you don’t see any way out?
You feel like you don’t have any options or that there is no hope. You feel overwhelmed with your emotions. It feels more than you can handle. You just want the pain to stop. You are in a place where logic doesn’t exist or at least it doesn’t compute in your system that is in darkness and drowning with emotion.
I don’t wish this feeling or state on anyone, yet I know many of us have been or will be there at some time in our lives. Unfortunately, suffering is part of this living thing.
When you are in it, you literally are willing to sell your soul or do anything to make it feel better. So, often the only solution or the easy solution you come up with to end the suffering is by ending this living thing. When you are in it, this may seem like a good idea because you are so desperate to come up with a quick solution or something to ease the pain.
My first piece of advice is that you don’t want a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You don’t want to end this living thing even if it seems like a good idea at the time.
Suffering SUCKS. I can’t deny that. It is part of this living thing (which is why at times you may not want to be part of it) but if you can stay with us here, there are always lessons and good things that come from the pain.
How do I know this is true?
Because part of this life and living thing is that everything keeps changing. Everything. You may not see of feel it, but if you are patient enough, you will see that things are changing.
Think about nature. Every single thing even down to the parts of an atom are constantly moving at all times even though you can’t see or feel them. Living things like trees may appear not to be changing but they are, ever so slowly. They are. We are always changing. The cells that make up our bodies are always dying and new ones replace them.
The more you love the more you may feel the suffering.
Life is not fair. Tragic, horrible, and terrible things happen. But there are always lessons and betterment that can come from it.
I’m telling you this now because when you are in it, you can’t think straight. I want to give you hope when all feels hopeless. I promise you things will change.
Just keep going. Sometimes the going is infinitesimal. Just do what you can and don’t give up. You may rest and give yourself breaks but be patient and keep going (yes, I know this is easy to say when you are not in the yucky, dark place.)
We are all connected. Suffering can help you connect with others in very powerful and meaningful ways.
Know that others want to help you if you let them. Accept the help. Ask for it. Ask for what you need.
Although suffering feels unfair and beyond unpleasant, good can come of it. I truly believe God ultimately wants us to feel love – both given and received.
We all will suffer. We all need to keep going. One foot in front of the other. Don’t be afraid to give yourself space and comfort and feel what you feel. You don’t want to wallow in it but feel it. Let it flow through you. You don’t know how long it will be yucky and be forewarned it may feel too overwhelming but know it will get better.
You can and will move forward with it if you try. If you get help and allow yourself to heal. You deserve happiness too. You deserve to be stronger and know your own strength. To be more compassionate. To connect and help yourself and others.
No one is perfect. But we all are loved and are deserving of love. Remember good can come from suffering if you look for it and allow it to happen.
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