Clarity

I feel like I am still (always?) trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Does anyone else feel this way? Part of me feels like this is a good thing and should always be true if we want to keep learning and growing and discovering new things. Another part is critical of myself because I wish I had more clarity about knowing what I want to do with my life.

One thing I am very interested in is to interview people and learn about how they view “legacy” and how they are living their legacy now. (If you are willing to talk to me about this, please let me know! Otherwise, don’t be surprised if I ask to talk to you you about this topic. 🙂 )

You can also think of your Legacy as your Why? Or your purpose. And / or your highest values. Each of these are similar and yet I also think of them as slightly different. I decided to journal on what my two highest values were to help me think about my own legacy. I feel like we all have different layers of legacy and purpose.

(I am using the word legacy but maybe that is not the best word. I welcome hearing other words or language that you think would be better.)

I know I want to be a good wife and mother. This is my primary and most important role and responsibility. So this comes first yet I also want to work outside the home with others and help others too. I want to be a good friend, family and community member. I was thinking that I should write about and get more specific and define what a “good” _______ , i.e. mother, wife, friend etc. means. What are the expectations? How would I define success in these roles? That is a whole other exercise that I haven’t done yet but do think would be worthwhile.

Instead of defining success in these different roles, I wrote about my two highest values. Most self-development and leadership work focuses on your values and have you choose only 2 or 3. When you are clear about your highest values and what is most important to you, it can make your actions and choices easier.

How is are your values different than Legacy? I think Legacy may be the manifestation of living these values. The how, the actions, the “what” that you did, the results you got, by demonstrating, embodying and living these values. I want how I live and what I do to be a clear reflection of my values.

My two highest values are: Love and Integrity.

Part of the reason I chose these two are because they are broad and encompass many other important values that roll up into them. It is an efficient way of choosing two things that include many others. Is that cheating? I don’t think it is. I think part of the exercise is that words can mean different things to different people and what is important is to know what your values or what these ideas / words mean to you.

So I was journaling on what these two values mean for me. This isn’t pretty or well written but here are my initial thoughts on what these two values mean to me…

LOVE
For me, love means kindness. It is a verb – showing, expressing and creating connection. It is a feeling of caring for myself and others. Love reminds me of learning, growing, passion and enjoyment. Love is showing up for those you care about. It isn’t always easy. With great love comes great hurt too. Love encompasses vulnerability and sharing yourself with others. In order to be vulnerable you must also have trust and safety. There are many different forms of love. Just like the Eskimos have many different words for the different types of snow, we should have different words for the different kinds of love too.

INTEGRITY
Integrity is doing the right thing. It is being honest and doing what you say you will. Following up on your promises and words. It is showing up even when it is scary, hard or uncomfortable. It is being courageous and sharing what you have. It is being responsible for yourself and for others, taking ownership of your actions, decisions and mistakes. Integrity is being respectful of others and other things, not wasting things – time, money or “stuff”. Integrity is using your gifts and talents, and continuing to learn and grow.

What would you choose as your two highest values?

How would you define them?

How can you use this information to help you live your life better and more meaningfully today?

I would love to hear your answers and anything you are willing to share.

P.S. Right after I wrote about this topic, I listened to Brené Brown’s podcast, Unlocking Us, where she reads an excerpt from her new book Atlas of the Heart on “Places We Go When the Heart is Open.” In this section she defines Love. It was interesting to see how much it aligned (and better articulated!) many of my own thoughts and ideas around love. It is worth the listen.